He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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