Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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