I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize