how can u be prego again
I am midnight drunk by noon
this just has baby written all over it
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize