I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
