i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
vagina is talking i cant
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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