There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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