Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
