i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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