PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Randomize
