so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
a search helicopter?!
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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