Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
