Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
You dont lie about slip and slides
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
