you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
