A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize