lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
