I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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