One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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