Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize