So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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