Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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