Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I deserve this hangover.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize