How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
