Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
