we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
A+ Viking dick
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
