About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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