In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I touched a dick in church today
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
