Soap is not a condiment
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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