clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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