There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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