Sry I called you an 8
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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