Swine flu is the new snow day.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
