you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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