I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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