Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
