Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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