He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
