Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(613): View more from Ontario

had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off

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(248): View more from Michigan

Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars

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(519): View more from Ontario

I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?

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(347): View more from New York

I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?

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(843): View more from South Carolina

my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib

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(604): View more from British Columbia

You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..

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(919): View more from North Carolina

I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.

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(206): View more from Washington

If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?

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(551): View more from New Jersey

does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?

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