Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
