Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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