I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Randomize