love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
