I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I got inside last night via doggy door
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
