I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize