Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
