Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
