There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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