He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
