Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
