Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Randomize
