do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
