Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
