Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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