is your mom at the bar?
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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