Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
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