I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
