It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
