So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
