I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
