We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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