ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
