redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
