i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
