Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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