I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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